Dual....:-)
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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