Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
