yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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