I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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