Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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