like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
