He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
sex in a hospital.. check
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
