how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
