I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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