went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
