I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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