grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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