I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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