ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
