I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
