i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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