Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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