Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
