I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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