I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
