RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Boobs are out for the taking
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
