Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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