arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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