I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
