I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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