I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
