Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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