i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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