i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
