You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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