I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Walk of Shame today included voting.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
