some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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