hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize