You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
