Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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