Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
be right there i have to get my cape
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
