In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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