He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
