To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i believe in u and ur pee
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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