i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
