i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
