its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
