Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
