I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
