I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
