From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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