i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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