Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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