As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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