tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
