First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
