dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
