haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
