it hurts more in the daytime
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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