Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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