OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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