You can't special order awesome
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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