Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
