google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
