she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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