If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
