I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
