I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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