I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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