Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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