I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
