I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
