Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
