We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
