if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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