he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
