When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we're making bets on your personal life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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