Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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